Happiness in the Face of Contrast

It’s pretty easy to keep a positive outlook and feel an abundance of happiness when my outside world is reflecting the same. I am overjoyed when I am staying in large comfortable mansions, surrounded by beautiful gardens and warm, supportive people. But what about when I’m not in these positive environments? Of course it is much harder for me to experience joy and bliss. Because I am focused on what is, instead of what could be. Which in turn only creates more of the same. I’ve sort of been stuck in this pattern since leaving Devon. Leaving the sweet dog, Amber who I will always love and miss. My next housesitting assignment had the most gorgeous pictures and I was very optimistic about it. I even did FaceTime with the owner but she only showed me one room of her place. Believe me, it is very difficult to know what I am getting into ahead of time. Many times owners take photos of the outside landscape and structures which are always beautiful. Only later I figure out the barn has been converted into 6 or 7 different homes. Skype and FT help, but it’s still impossible to get the breadth of someone’s home without actually being there in person. Anyway, Chewy and I were happy to go to Dorset for one week before heading to the Lake District. When we arrived, the address was titled “Laundry Cottage.” This should have been a red flag! The home ended up being a very tiny 2-bedroom apartment with only the dusty, clogged fireplace to provide heat in the main rooms. I don’t normally have a problem with a home that is smaller, but I was also sharing the space with a 2 y/o lab, Beetle, who hadn’t been trained much at all and demanded constant attention. My bedroom was upstairs and thankfully had a radiator that came on in the early mornings for a few hours. With the help of hot water bottles I was able to keep Chewy warm for most of the day. But more often than not he was shaking from the cool, crisp air that never left the small home. The thermostat was always between 50-60 deg Fahrenheit. The very cramped kitchen wasn’t very well equipped for cooking nor very clean. The water had some mysterious “minerals” that came out of the tap that I would accidentally crunch down on sometimes when drinking my morning tea. I would have assumed that due to the name of the place, it would have been suitable to do my laundry comfortably. Nope, not at all. The clothes washer didn’t appear to be working properly and there was no dryer, nor any space to lay out clothes to dry. So I held out and waited to clean my clothes until my next assignment. I was also in charge of a mostly feral cat who came in and out as he pleased through the cat door. On the first morning he came in with a large rat. I immediately screamed so he grabbed the poor disembowled animal and flew back out through the flapping door. All I could think of was, “Where the hell am I and how did I get here??”

Fortunately, during my stay here is when I dove into the teachings of Neville Goddard. He was a philosopher from the 1950s who centered around The Law of Attraction and Christianity. Here is where I began learning about how to change my outlook despite what the current environment was providing for me. Neville’s words teach about how we are all apart of God and we all have the ability to live our lives in any direction that we choose. Rich, poor, happy, negative, we have created it all. Most importantly, each of us already possesses the power to change this. His books center around specific techniques and compares passages of the Bible. Neville’s current following is bigger than ever despite his death in the early 70s. In his eyes, the bible never refers to actual physical people like Peter, Luke, John, etc. He saw these names, commandments and stories as a way for us to interpret this main belief. According to Neville, you are God, I am God, we are all God and through imagination and feeling we employ the most potent forms of expressing this Godhood. Neville goes through the bible and provides his translation, for example, the command, “thou shalt not take the name of thy lord in vain.” As a child, I was taught this meant to not say things like, “Goddamnit,” or one of my personal favorites, “Jesus Fucking Christ!” 🙂 But if we are God, then instead this would mean, do not talk against ourselves. Do not speak or think ill of our own self. I’ve said this many times, loving ourselves and experiencing self-compassion is THE most important thing I have learned. Period. Needless to say, Neville’s teachings hit a chord. Some of you that know me are probably thinking, “Why is Jess quoting the Bible?” Truthfully, I was very resistant to Neville’s teachings almost two years ago when I was introduced to him. That resistance was solely because of my judgements on Christianity. It sort of felt like going backwards. But the great thing about Neville’s teachings is you don’t have to be Christian. In fact, he says we need to let go of our prejudices about any and all religions in order to be free. His instructions and teachings are successful without the whole God affect. So if you are like me, just take away the religion and look at the meaning. The Time is Now. Live in the present. Everything I want and desire, I should just assume that I already have it.

“To be conscious of being poor while praying for riches is to be rewarded with that which you are conscious of being, namely, poverty. Prayers to be successful must be claimed and appropriated. Assume the positive consciousness of the thing desired.” Neville Goddard

Neville calls this starting from the end and this, my friends, is what has helped me through the rough moments that are currently within my experience. If I am having a hard time and not happy with my physical surroundings, I just imagine they are different. Harnessing the feeling of having what I want is the catalyst of it showing up in the physical. I get this seems a little delusional, I still have all kinds of mental blocks that I’m in the process of extinguishing. This goes against everything I was ever taught. But just like everything else that is new to me, I can’t judge what I don’t understand. I’m willing to try this out and hone in on the feeling of being in love with a wonderful man that is devoted to me. I am surrounded by friends that accept me no matter what and all the while I can enjoy the financial abundance that is within my power to induce. After all, everything we want is because we believe we will feel better in the having of it. What if we just feel better before we actually, physically have it?

Despite my rough start in Dorset I ended up having a good time. Beetle was a great hiker and I was more than happy to take her out 4-5 miles each day mainly to encourage her to not chew up my things! She was very sweet and the cat, Pudi was also a bit of a hiker as well. He often followed us pretty far along the trail. All in all I am grateful for the experience because I’ve never felt so sure about my future until right now. Once again I am grateful for all that life has given me.



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