Loving Myself

I have truly been enjoying my life and new experiences. I have been taking care of the two dogs in Loosley Row and they are just angels. They love to cuddle in my lap whenever I’m sitting on the couch. To their disappointment it’s not comfortably possible to have both of them on me at the same time. It’s funny because when one is snuggling, the other one just stares at me the whole time. If I take too long before I switch them, they sometimes start whining. They are just adorable. We have been going on 3-4 walks/hikes everyday. I’m definitely getting my steps in! I also caved-in and bought a new yoga mat as an early Christmas present 🙂 I have no idea how I’m going to transport it when I leave the UK, but I’ll worry about that another day. Having a new mat is so motivating for me to do yoga. I’m trying to get into the habit of a daily practice. However discipline continues to be one of my biggest weaknesses. Always improving, everyday!
Also, during this house sitting adventure, I started dating someone! I met Farukh on Bumble which is quite popular in the UK. Within the past 2 weeks we’ve gone on three dates. He has driven here for each occurrance all the way from Essex (about 1.5 hours) and I am happy to report that I am learning to receive. Each time he has visited, he has brought me flowers and a small gift like truffles or champagne. This is exactly what I have been manifesting! I have been desiring to be courted. Something I haven’t really taken part in before. Normally, I am doing pretty much all of the work when dating someone and then all of a sudden we’re in a long-term relationship. This happens so quickly that I actually have no idea who the person is and they don’t really know me either. I made all of these projections about who they were, all of which were appealing to me at the time, instead of seeing the actual person who was standing before me. As you can imagine, this is a recipe for failure. I mean, pushing my way into someone’s life is never, ever a good sign. This goes for all types of relationships. In the past, I would throw myself at this percieved gallant man again and again until he became receptive. Sooo very sad, but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I would think deep down if he just got to know me, then we would hit it off. Wow. How very narcissistic of me! This was precisely the energy behind it as well. Vying for this magnanimous male’s affections was tied into my own self esteem. It felt like if I weren’t successful in attaining him then my own self-worth came crushing down, hard. Because this is what happens when we surrender our own self regard onto the contingency of another. I was just searching to be loved. Not understanding that I had to love myself first. Fortunately, I’ve been going very slowly during my time with Farukh. I am trying very hard to be present with who he is versus what I want to see. I’m not getting carried away, just enjoying the act of receiving and thrilled for more.
As for manifesting money, well it’s only a matter of time now. I believe, the more I am able to receive from others, the more I’ll be able to receive whatever the universe drops into my path. Whether this comes in the form of dollars, pounds, great job, charity, it doesn’t matter, I will be able to collect on what I’ve been asking for. In the meantime, I will continue enjoying each and every day. Maintaining gratefulness for such an abundant life. Cooking, blending oils, meditating, mainly just going towards what I am enjoying. Something will turn up, it must. As much as the law of gravity must keep us pulled to the earth, the law of attraction will deliver what we desire as long as we are open to receiving.
I am about to travel to the southwest part of the country, to Devonshire. I am looking forward to this house sit because it will last for almost seven weeks!! I am delightedly to be in one place for so long. I will update soon with more adventures. Goodbye for now and to my American friends – Happy Thanksgiving!!

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